we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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