Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
