I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
