My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize