hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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