Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Your cock deserves a montage
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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