She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
