The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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