I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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