It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We left an ass print on the piano.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
