My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize