I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
