i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
