i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So many bounce houses so little time
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
