how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
