she was so not down for the gang bang
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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