I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
