So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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