Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
How's work?
Spinning.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
