sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
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