Buhtt sex?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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