he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
