Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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