So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
