The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
