That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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