come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
