That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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