Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
