i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
