you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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