her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
