My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
