There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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