i just wanna soil my oats bro
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize