I'm lost and stupid without you.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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