so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
