I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize