i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
