dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize