Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
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I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
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They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sex while Star Warsing is the best