I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize