don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You made out with two different species that night
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
