I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
