Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My friends, they love my intelligence
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
