Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize