CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
