I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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