So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My pussy is not your playground.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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