you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I supernannyed him into submission
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
