saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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