I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
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Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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