No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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