I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
this is an emotional support booty call
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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