watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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