Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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