Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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