just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im holly from the hills drunk
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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