I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
