im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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