Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize