I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
