Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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