just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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